What is the weirdest or most disturbing thing that a kid has said? by Sakshi Singh
Answer by Sakshi Singh:
I have a nephew who is pretty notorious within the family for being extremely naughty. I met him for the first time last year. He was three then.
As soon as I entered their house, he started jumping and dancing with excitement. Literally. I was told that he was acting this way as he was happy to see his bua (aunt). I had always believed that I love kids and that kids are angelic creatures. Then, I met him.
After ten minutes of singing “Dhinka Chika” and dancing like a mad-man, he placed himself on the cot opposite to mine.
The following conversation ensued:-
Him – Which grade are you in?
Me – None. I work.
Him (chuckling) – Are you mad? Girls don’t WORK!
Me (reminding myself it’s just a kid) – What do they do then?
Him (looking at me disgustedly for not knowing the obvious) – They shop!
Everyone laughs. I fake a laughter. The kid stares at me with a blank face for what seemed like thirty-six hours and then suddenly takes a long jump from his cot to mine . I am startled. He starts with his “Dhinka-Chika” gig again. He is loving it. His mom asks him to cut it out.
An hour has passed. Lunch has been served. I am hastily trying to finish all that is there in front of me. The sooner we finish lunch, the faster we’ll be out of the house. This time the kid goes to my Dad.
Kid – So for how many days are you going to stay?
Dad – We won’t be staying. We’ll leave in an hour or so.
Kid – Why?
Dad – We have to reach home on time.
Kid – Where are you coming from?
Dad – Relative X’s place. (My nephew’s house lies midway between our house and relative X’s)
Kid – Oh. So you just came for the free food then?
Dad – Hehehe. That is kind of true. But we also wanted to see you.
Kid – Liar. That is what I hate about adults. No one comes here to see me. It’s all about the food.
I slowly get comfortable with him and try to get to know him better.
Me – So who’s your best friend?
Him – There are way too many of them. I can’t name them all.
Me – See, there has to be someone you like more than everyone else. That’s the whole idea of having a best friend.
Him (being extremely coy) – I like Malvika the most. But she has another best friend.
Me – Oh don’t worry! You need not be the best friend of your best friend. That is not how it works. I was never the best friend of any of my best friends.
Him – But I am more beautiful than you are.
Me (crying inside but pretending to ignore what he said) – So what are your hobbies?
Him (with a straight face and the sincerest tone ever)- Jumping off airplanes.
Me – ??
Him – I love the thrill. Every evening, I jump off airplanes with my entire gang. I taught it to all of them. Almost everyone is scared except me and Rohit. But Rohit is a loser. Last week, he jumped off an airplane without a parachute. I had told him not to. He died. I had to bring him back to life. It’s a lot of work.
Me – I can imagine. It must be hard.
My nephew’s mom has taken him to a room and has probably scolded him because when he comes out he is pretty subdued. He is extremely well-behaved and talks to me about how he wants to be a pilot and what Malvika brings for lunch. I get this overwhelming sense of affection towards this kid. I hug him and cuddle him.
He talks to me about his grandfather(my uncle) who had passed away decades ago. He tells me that he has heard a lot about him from the family members and asks me if I would like to see his grandfather’s photo. I reply in affirmative. He takes me to the living room where there is a huge photo of his grandfather on the wall. He stares hard at the photo for a long time. I observe him staring and somehow feel sorry for the kid. He turns around to face me and says in the calmest possible voice –
“He too had jumped without a parachute”.
His grandfather was a farmer who had never seen an airplane in his lifetime.